Tomorrow is my Birthday, for most people a happy day; but, for me, the worst day of the year – I’m fine with the getting older bit – I don’t even dye my hair! What I’m not fine with is having to “celebrate” without my original best friend and soul mate – my twin – who lives on the other side of the World – might as well be the Moon.
It’s been 20 years since we last blew out the candles together when we were 25. Tomorrow I have to face a whole day pretending to be happy while inside being unbearably sad – I’m not supposed to blow candles out on my own or have Happy Birthday sung just to me. In my world, Birthdays, like Christmas, are for sharing – I want to shout “but there’s two of us.”
At least our wonderful Mum – who always baked two cakes – will not have to bear the sadness of knowing her twins are suffering on what should be a happy day – her passing earlier this year will, of course, make an already sad day, very, very tough. I’m trying to get the crying out of the way today, in order to try and get through tomorrow, but I’m not holding out much hope.
I’m not sure why I’m sharing this except perhaps to let everyone know that while I appear to be a strong, cheerful person – on the whole – inside I’m running on half empty and I want the world to remember, that there’s actually two of us very special people – Thing 1 and Thing 2! And, for the record, the main reason I don’t dye my hair, it wouldn’t be fair on my brother – we were made and born together and we’ll go grey together and please God, let us die in the same minute.
At least the Dr Seuss picture is making me smile, my bruv loved Dr Seuss books – we didn’t have that book though – we would have loved it – maybe we should do our hair blue!